If my predictions are right then the following statements really hit close to home. I was really easy to talk to but there was a huge wall of something I didn't or couldn't talk to you about. I would look at you as if I was about to say something but I would say it was nothing. I would always be upbeat and when I was upset it would come out of no where. I would always fight back tears. I would have moments of silence. I would hide.
But you. You knew how to get passed all of that. You knew how to say and do things other men never understood, things I never understood. You too must be very stubborn...or brave.
Twenty-three years of facing the world I live in alone. Only opening up to my closest friends and select individuals. I was constantly thinking that no one could ever understand or want to know or care to know. But you. You would. I mean, that's what you get with me, the girl who withholds details, the one who is so good at facades. I don't know how you got to me but I'm going to thank God when it happens.
I'm going to pray for you. I'm going to pray for the day you come into my life. I'm going to pray for how thankful I am for finally having something real and good that I could hold on to. I'm going to pray for the grace you have granted me. For the suffering you will shoulder. For the long conversations to come. For the irritation I will cause. For every time I deny you access to my life. For every time you have to pick me up. I will pray for us. I will pray that you and I will be happy. I will pray that you and I have bond stronger than that of those who have made me believe that love doesn't exist. I will pray that I have the strength to be the woman who is worthy of a man like you. I will pray that I become the women I know I want to be. I will pray that I will work on my my own faults and be stronger, smarter and happier.
Until then... I love you. And thank you.
-Hyacinth
