Sexual harassment goes beyond the cat calls and the gropping. It lives on because people don't see women as equals. "Smile for me, Gorgeous." Who gave you the permission to order me to do anything? "I didn't want to have sex with you to begin with." No one here was offering! Just because I am passing through, DOES NOT mean I am passing through just for you.
Sexual harassment is all about power and control over women. It is about men thinking that women are targets and can be objectified. It is about men thinking they are entitled to making a women feel lower than men. That women are just occupying the space that men own.
You know what always bothered me? When I'm out with a date or my brothers or my male friends it doesn't happen often. So the men in my life don't really get to see the full on display of sexual harassment. If they ever did, I know they would all be upset.
HOWEVER, it still happens once in a blue moon when I am around a man. The awful part about the rude interactions of sexual harassment I've had while around a man I was never apologized to.
I was once at a bar with a date. He had gone to the bathroom. A guy had come up to me. I said I was not interested. The guy continued. Date comes back. Guy apologizes to my date saying, "Sorry man, I didn't know she was with you." And then said nothing to me. Apparently, when I say I'm not interested that isn't enough.
The numerous times I've held my dates closer because of cat calls or when I've lied about having a boyfriend. Because some men won't take no for an answer unless you've been claimed. Because again, women are seen as objects that need to be controlled by men.
And heaven forbid that women control men! If a woman controlled a man, he would be seen as a "pussy" or less than a man. The fact that the slang term for women genitals are used as an insult just furthers my point that women aren't seen as equals.
I am not physically strong enough to fight off a man if he doesn't like what I say. So I can't just look at a guy who whistles at me when I'm alone on the streets at night and say, "That's disrespectful. Stop it" I can't fight off a man if I tell him what i really want is some respect after he calls out to me "Hey yo blue dress! I like your dress." Even if I was strong enough to do so I don't think it would make a difference because they already have it in their heads that I am less than they are and what I say doesn't matter as much as they believe.
For a man to stand up to his friends when they say rude comments. For a man to tell other guys to apologize. For a man to stand up for women who have been sexually harassed. Now that. That would make a difference. Get that conversation started.
