An Open Letter To Girls Who Think I Want Their Man

A few weeks ago I began to understand why someone would cheat.  The word is so taboo and for a lot of people there is a bad connotation to it.  I empathize with some who have had terrible memories.  Again, I say some.  Frankly, half of the time I don't give two cents.  My reaction: Ok, it happened.  Move on.

The thing you need to understand about me is I will understand where you are coming from but if you don't understand all points of views of the situation or even consider it--Well, I don't think you deserve my empathy.

GETTING TO THE POINT OF THIS MESSAGE--For some odd reason, I sense hostility from girls who are "in a relationship" with someone I fancied for a while.  Listen, I don't need your man.  I've been single all my twenty-two years of life on this planet.  I can be single for another five without feeling bad about myself.  So you don't have to worry about me.  Look, he's yours and if not provoked by that person to start something up again--I'm not "taking your man," ok?  I don't need another problem in my life.  I have plenty to sort out already.

If you were hurt by someone before and feel like your man is trying to "get at me" in any way or I am "trying to take your man" in any way--Honey, you MUST be thinking about someone else.  Look, all the people I've ever really liked or have dated are amazing men in their own right.  I mean, have some of them cheated?  Yeah.  They have admitted that to me.  I don't know if they have disclosed that information to you but if you can't handle that--maybe you have to leave.  I'm saying that for your own benefit.

The times I've stopped talking to any man is typically because I want more and they don't or the other way around or things just get stale, maybe they just aren't ready for it or they think I'm not serious or believe in relationships.  There are plenty of excuses.  I don't do excuses.  So I say bye.  And you know, I usually have them wondering where things went wrong.  And that is a great question.  Quite honestly, I don't think things ever go wrong but it is because it is the wrong timing.  And look, it worked out for you right?  You have him in a position that I never got to.  So explain to me, why am I a threat?

But whatever.  You still probably hate me.  I don't care.  My mummzy taught me to give my old toys to the less fortunate.

BYEEEEEEEE!

About My Blog

For a while I had taken this blog off of my Instagram page.  I had a feeling that someone I use to know was reading it.  On my blog is a lot of things that this person would understand because it is about them.  After going through my stats on my blogs i feel like it was probably the person I think it was or their current significant other.  I guess this post is to ease the minds of those that read it.

I write on this blog very heavily unfiltered versions of what I could have, would have, should have said to people in my past present or future.  And I typically write these things because I feel strongly about it or I am just overly emotional about it.

I don't mean to hurt anyone's feelings or make anyone feel uncomfortable.  I just feel like venting and writing things down is a whole lot easier for me than me telling it to a friend.  I am able to collect my thoughts better this way and this blog is more for my personal use than it is for entertainment or educational purposes.

This blog is about me and my thinking.  So if you don't like it.  Don't read it.

"When someone asks me what's wrong my instant reaction is to lie and say everything is fine, despite how crap I really feel"

-Breakfast Club

Tell me--how did things that came before you turn into things that remind me of you? How is it that every time I forget about you--somehow you make me remember? I'm obsessed. And it is so hard for me because even though I don't want you any more--I can't help but feel weak at the sound of your name. 

"Coming Back for More"

I just wanna say, I'm so sorry.

I'm waiting by the door,

Hoping that you'll be coming back for more.

I know I said some things

I was running scared

But can't you please come back and for--

Every second when my heart skips a beat for you.

All the gorgeous places we went to.

& For every thing we've yet to do.

Baby--

We'd talk about what our life has been like

I know your secrets and your wildest dreams

Now tell me, please--

When you see me does your heart still skip beat?

Do you think of me at places we use to meet?

Am I still that girl you want to be with?

Cause I just wanna say, I'm so sorry

I'm waiting by the door

Hoping you'll be rushing back for more.