Why Am I Happy?

A question I get a lot from people that may or may not really know me too well is, "Why are you so happy all the time?"  And it dawned on me that I have never really answered this question in full detail.

At church on Easter Sunday (I promise this isn't all about religion), Father Pat said something that I once heard as a child which is basically this, "There are certain people you encounter and they are genuinely happy and radiant and it just feels great to be around them.  They are people of God and live their lives through him.  Through God they find happiness and comfort."  I nearly cried when I heard this because it is something I've tried to do my whole entire life.  I've always tried to be a better person and be a shinning light on the world.  I want to leave this world knowing that I lived a happy life.

Now, my life has not been a life without struggle.  My family struggles every day.  I struggle every day but when life seems like it is getting too much for me to handle I say this in my prayers, "I thank you Lord for my faults and for my weaknesses...For all the struggle and strife I have witnessed and endured--Through this I find comfort in your divine love and the bond I have is strengthened."

For my friends that don't understand my faith or faith in general that statement sounds like a whole bunch of "poppy cock" but that is really how I believe.  As silly as it may seem to those that don't believe, I find my happiness in the comfort of knowing that I am not and will never be alone.  It quite honestly makes me feel stronger and happier.

Ok, so religion isn't the only thing that has taught me how to continuously be happy and positive.  I learned a long time ago that being upset will not produce many friends.  Being closed off will not bring many people to you. Being a person that people want to be around, that will not only bring people into your life but it will make your life better. Being happy is a choice. You have to bring yourself to make active descisions that will make your life happier.

I have made plenty of friends in my life time.  It is easy for me to make friends.  I don't have fear of rejection of these people that don't know me.  I don't need their approval to make me happy.  I just want to get to know them because they could make my life a little bit happier or even better--I could make their life a little bit happier.  I like making people happy.  Working retail, when someone finds bridesmaid dresses or better yet a wedding dress--it is the happiest moment for me.  Like, you have no idea.  Happiness is so contagious that I love surrounding myself with people that make me happier.

If you want to be happier, this is the trick that has worked wonders for me: Just do you. Surround yourself with things that make you happy, people that make you happy, work that makes you happy.  Do things for you.  But don't stop there, do thing for other people.  Give people more than what they ask for or what they think they deserve.  Be the light and change you want to see in the world. Trust me.  You might not always be happy but you will live a happier life.

<3

Who I Want To Be & Who I Am

It took one look at what I was not and what I never wanted to be to bring who I am back from the depths of my brain.  Before I tell you who I am, let me discuss the story of the "one look" at the person I NEVER want to become.

So I'm on Facebook and I'm going through photos, profiles and posts that my Facebook friends have posted and somehow I get to this one girl's profile.  She's a friend of a handful of my friends but I've never personally met her.  It literally took me two seconds to look at this girl's profile and say that is the type of  woman I NEVER want to be. The word "PLASTIC" was the only thing that came into my head.

When I say plastic, I'm not talking about fake eyelashes, fake boobs, nips and tucks and blah...blah...blahh. All I saw from her profile was selfishness, arrogance and lack of any sign that she was a woman that I could ever respect but there was this girl that could have been me.  She lives in the same city, she's around my age, we share mutual friends, we're both healthy, we have similar cultures...  She looked cheap, fake and toxic.

"That is the type of woman I NEVER want to be," was the phrase that I said mentally to myself simply due to her profile picture and her cover photo.  What made us so different?

I am constantly working towards this image of who I WANT to be.

• Kind
• Honest
• God-driven
• Successful
• Happy
• a Leader
• Poised

This girl didn't even seem to be ONE of those things.  She might have been happy but she wasn't smiling in her cover photo or her profile picture so who knows?  And yes, this girl had her own personal photo of herself as her cover photo.  If you happen to be one of those people and you aren't a Facebook "public figure" and/or neither of those photo's are professionally taken pictures...I highly suggest you change one of those photos because you look like a conceited person.  Even the outfits she wore made me think less of her.  She was scantily clothed and all I could think of was if one of my cousins, aunts, my mother or grandmother were to see that I posted that publicly...I'd be mortified.  The more I thought about this the more I was appalled.  I have younger people that see my Facebook.  I have people I respect on my Facebook.  I don't want them to see any of that!  Sure, I've had photo's of me in a bathing suit on Facebook.  I've also walked on a few stages with nothing but a bathing suit but that wasn't what showed through in those photos.  I showed through on those photos and I wasn't trying to be seductive...I was radiant.

When I saw this girl's profile and thought, "That is the type of person I NEVER want to be," I came to the realization that WHO I am had gotten lost in the process of being who I WANT to be.  

I am...

• Crazy
• Spontaneous
• Dynamic
• Energetic
• Full of life

But who I was before I saw that girl's profile was a watered-down version of who I am.  With who I am comes an unbalance and that is why I controlled it but here's the thing...It shouldn't have to be something I need to manage.  I do quite well when I am, who I am and what I want to be.  It makes me...Hya.

I am that woman who likes to go out and have fun.  I do a lot of non-profit work.  I do great with children and they look up to me because I am a leader.  I'm a crazy leader who fumbles her words, speaks without sometimes thinking because I'm just trying to be honest.  When I speak I just have so much energy and confidence and I am full of life.  When who I am collides with who I want to be it is the only time I honestly feel happy and satisfied.

So that "one look" at that girl's profile sparked a respect who I am and who I expect myself to be.  It also helped me remember that the internet is a 24/7 way of showing people who you are.