So I'm on Facebook and I'm going through photos, profiles and posts that my Facebook friends have posted and somehow I get to this one girl's profile. She's a friend of a handful of my friends but I've never personally met her. It literally took me two seconds to look at this girl's profile and say that is the type of woman I NEVER want to be. The word "PLASTIC" was the only thing that came into my head.
When I say plastic, I'm not talking about fake eyelashes, fake boobs, nips and tucks and blah...blah...blahh. All I saw from her profile was selfishness, arrogance and lack of any sign that she was a woman that I could ever respect but there was this girl that could have been me. She lives in the same city, she's around my age, we share mutual friends, we're both healthy, we have similar cultures... She looked cheap, fake and toxic.
"That is the type of woman I NEVER want to be," was the phrase that I said mentally to myself simply due to her profile picture and her cover photo. What made us so different?
I am constantly working towards this image of who I WANT to be.
- Kind
- Honest
- God-driven
- Successful
- Happy
- a Leader
- Poised
This girl didn't even seem to be ONE of those things. She might have been happy but she wasn't smiling in her cover photo or her profile picture so who knows? And yes, this girl had her own personal photo of herself as her cover photo. If you happen to be one of those people and you aren't a Facebook "public figure" and/or neither of those photo's are professionally taken pictures...I highly suggest you change one of those photos because you look like a conceited person. Even the outfits she wore made me think less of her. She was scantily clothed and all I could think of was if one of my cousins, aunts, my mother or grandmother were to see that I posted that publicly...I'd be mortified. The more I thought about this the more I was appalled. I have younger people that see my Facebook. I have people I respect on my Facebook. I don't want them to see any of that! Sure, I've had photo's of me in a bathing suit on Facebook. I've also walked on a few stages with nothing but a bathing suit but that wasn't what showed through in those photos. I showed through on those photos and I wasn't trying to be seductive...I was radiant.
When I saw this girl's profile and thought, "That is the type of person I NEVER want to be," I came to the realization that WHO I am had gotten lost in the process of being who I WANT to be.
I am...
- Crazy
- Spontaneous
- Dynamic
- Energetic
- Full of life
But who I was before I saw that girl's profile was a watered-down version of who I am. With who I am comes an unbalance and that is why I controlled it but here's the thing...It shouldn't have to be something I need to manage. I do quite well when I am, who I am and what I want to be. It makes me...Hya.
I am that woman who likes to go out and have fun. I do a lot of non-profit work. I do great with children and they look up to me because I am a leader. I'm a crazy leader who fumbles her words, speaks without sometimes thinking because I'm just trying to be honest. When I speak I just have so much energy and confidence and I am full of life. When who I am collides with who I want to be it is the only time I honestly feel happy and satisfied.
So that "one look" at that girl's profile sparked a respect who I am and who I expect myself to be. It also helped me remember that the internet is a 24/7 way of showing people who you are.
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