The Beginning

"God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning--the sixth day." Genesis 1:31

The last verse, of the first chapter, of the first book in the Bible.  Think of this when you are feeling down, when you are feeling up...think of this always.  God created the heavens and earth. He created the broad mountains, the vast sea, the endless sky...and stopped and decided that this world needed you.  You were made in His image.  You were given the right to rule over this wild world as a child of God.  God saw you and said you were good.  You have always been complete and whole.  You are enough.  So straighten your crown and go rule your world. 
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Heavenly Father,
When you made me you saw that I was good; That I was complete; That I could have everything I ever needed and wanted; That all I ever needed to do was go out and get it.  Please, grant me the confidence and the knowledge that I AM YOURS and with You I can accomplish everything.  Amen.

Sweet and Low

Here's a little short story. Enjoy. <3

I like to say that I learned about my life through packets of Sweet & Low. Sunday mornings were reserved for two things: church and brunch with Grandma. The earliest memories I have are brunch with Grandma using two Sweet & Low packets for her ice tea and then putting ten of them in her purse. But as time moved forward quickly those Sunday's with Grandma weren't always as frequent as they once were. Her children were retiring and having brunch with their own grandchildren. Her grandchildren were older now and had plans of their own. So every once in a while Grandma would stop by my place to have some ice tea. Half of the times she'd come over and I'd be on my phone reading my messages or checking the time. She'd drone on about when we were younger and when our parents were younger and when she was younger. Always using two packets of Sweet & Low and then putting ten in her purse. When I told her to just take the box if she needed the sugar she just smiled and said, "Why should I when I can just come again next week?" One morning she came over unannounced. "Your brother wasn't home. I hope you don't mind that your mom dropped me off here." It was in that instance that I realized how old she had become, how frail her body was now & how short she is. All those days she had come over before and I had never realized how old we were now. I looked at my own reflection in the toaster infront of me, fine wrinkles forming around my mouth and on my forehead. "When you are as old as me, no one wants to bothered by you anymore," She continued, "I called my friend yesterday and her daughter said she had past away two months ago... That was the last person I knew who was my age." There was a cold silence as she poured herself some ice tea, hands shaking from old age, "All that is left in my life is my legacy," She added her sugar then said, "Well, that and Sweet & Low." She looked at me and smiled. That day I learned things I never knew about her. How she was married before marrying my grandfather. How she would repackaged bullets with gun powder for soldiers during the war. How she metmy grandfather. About the day that I was born. And while some of the stories I had heard once before the joy she had while telling me the tales of her life gave me a sense of happiness I knew would last long after she would pass. When she did pass my family and I were cleaning out her room at my parents house. I opened her closet with my eyes closed taking in the smell of hard caramel candies, her perfume White Diamonds and a strong smell of Sweet & Low. Looking for a pair of shoes for the burial I opened one of the shoeboxes in the back. To my surprise all that was in the box was Sweet & Low packets. Crying and laughing at the same time my cousin asked to see the box. Apparently Grandmother had been going over to her house to grab some Sweet & Low once a week too. Once other people in the room heard what was going on they all started to say the same thing. Our Grandma was going over to everyone's house smuggling Sweet & Low. All that time she just wanted a reason to come over and talk to us. There were boxes of Sweet & Low under her bed, on her desk, in her dresser and more boxes in her closet. My mother with tears streaming down her cheeks said that there must have been hundreds, maybe even thousands, of dollars worth of unused Sweet & Low packets. Laughing all of us started sharing stories of her life, our lives, my family. Now, once a year we all have a family reunion and a toast with ice tea and two packets of Sweet & Low.

Rejection

Rejection is hard. As a girl, you don't tend to see the rejection side of things when it comes to dating. A guy casually comes up to you and says, "Hi my name is [insert name here]." You don't typically think twice about it. You simply judge and then respond. Even if you think you didn't respond, let me tell you, you did. If you brush it off and scoff, that's a response. If you roll your eyes, that's a response. If you laugh with your friend, that is a response.

Have you ever even thought about what it takes for a guy to even come up to you like that? What pride he might suffer if the response is negative? What insecurities he might harbor? How he might feel? My thoughts are that in the moment you haven't. Sure, you were super friendly and then ditched him after he bought you a drink. Sure, you had a great conversation with him until your drink was done. Sure, you let him down easy--you just had to use him before you left. 

You know, we all ask for respect. We all want common decency and yet here we are playing "the game" like none of us have any real emotions, like we are only looking out for ourselves. You are not better than the person standing next to you. You both have the same rights and are both on the pursuit of happiness.

Be kind.

My whole life...

My whole life has been a compilation of thoughts and ideals molded by the ones I have let into my life and the educational system I have become a part of. My life as been an active learning journey of scrapes and bruises and deep cuts. I have fallen and gotten back up. I have been hit and kept moving forward. I've taken blows that were so low and dirty by people that I've loved so deeply. Unfortunately I have also been the person who has hurt other people. I have thought I was right when I was wrong but I have learned. I have learned. I have the ability to learn more and I will continue to learn more because if I stop learning, there is no growth and when we stop growing, then Darwinism kicks in. I have built myself up, knocked myself down and built myself up again. And every single time I have learned. And I have enjoyed this life and I have enjoyed learning. I have enjoyed the people that I let into my life and the people who had the strength to stay in it. I'm in love with my life and what it has become and what it will. I'm in love with my life because I have loved so many things and I'm not afraid to love. <3