If you've known me for a while then you know that I am an advocate for having fun when you are young. I have stated plenty of times that when you are twenty-something you should be out there figuring out who you are and what you want--that dating should be lighthearted and fun. By no means have I ever been an advocate of no dating until you are thirty five (but to my little ones that are reading this, I do suggest not dying until you are at least sixteen).
These ideas that I don't only preach but live by have been my life for my whole entire life thus far. And I don't think that it is the ONLY reason that I've always been single.
For a very long time I had given up on an ideal romantic partner. It isn't because I'm not loved enough. I have enough love in my life. Quite honestly, it is probably because a lot of the love that I've experienced has been tolerance and acceptance. For me, I have always felt as if I have given a lot more love than I have received. And most of the time I have been happy to be the more loving person but there are definitely times when I have felt taken for granted.
Anyhow, none of this has ever discouraged me from dating and being affectionate. I'm a very caring person. I am the the type of person that will root for you in everything that you attempt to do if that is what makes you happy and a better person. But as the person who has always been for lighthearted and fun dating it has been hard for me to really take any of these "relationships" too seriously.
Dating someone is an amazing way to really get to know yourself and for your own personal growth. You figure out what you like, what you don't like, how to take another person's interests into consideration, how to really manage your time with other people, finding a balence in your life, how your actions effect other people--there are just so many things.
I love dating. I love going out on dates. But building a relationship--that is hard for me when it comes to a romantic relationship. It isn't just because I get too scared of something serious or because I like being serious. I am just that accustomed to this idea that keeping things lighthearted and fun--And it's difficult for me to cut ties with it.
I've stated plenty of times that I want a serious relationship. And I've been very close to being in them. When it comes down to it--I have let go of my ideas of "lighthearted and fun" before I go into something more serious. My ideas of lighthearted and fun are dating a lot of people. Getting to know those people. Having fun with those people. But ALWAYS keeping them at a good distance away from my heart. And I've hurt myself and a few good men because of this.
So while I might still be doing the whole lighthearted and fun dating thing right now I think I have really opened up to the idea that I can be in a serious relationship.
The way I came around to this idea is because I was recently dating someone who made me feel really special. And he really did change my mind about some of my dating habits. I do want to still date around but I want to be really selective in who I talk to. I want those people to make me feel giddy and ladylike. I want to be the couple that other people smile at because we are that cute around each other. I don't know--maybe I have dated enough to really know what I need to be happy in a relationship. I really have a good notion of who I am now too.
It isn't like I'm just going to stop being very lighthearted and fun about dating but...I'm also not going to be so Loosey Goosey about everything now. We'll see.
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